Girl Gags

The Evolution Of a Mother

Yes, parenthood changes everything.

But parenthood also changes with each baby.

Here are some of the ways in which having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

• 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.
• 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
• 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name

• 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
• 2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
• 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

• 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
• 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
• 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

• 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
• 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
• 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries

• 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
• 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
• 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier

• 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
• 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you clean it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
• 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Nappies

• 1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether it's needed or not.
• 2nd baby: You change their nappy every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
• 3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities

• 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour.
• 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
• 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out

• 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
• 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
• 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

• 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
• 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
• 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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